News! and What?

It's been ages!

I hope you have left your houses in the mean time, I know how it can be - sitting around in the dark waiting for the next blog post, neglecting your friends and family, refusing to eat.

Well make yourself a sandwich, because here goes -

Newt Jersey:

Newt Jersey has gone on indefinate hiatus - as you can see, the last comic was delivered on April 21st. Every week, for the better part of a year, I was able to connect through googlie eyed things with a scattershot of the most amazing individuals that any writer/crappy artist could ask for. The response was overwhelming - to everybody who commented in person, or on the interweb, I want to extend a big thanks much.

Hopefully I will be able to draw Newt Jersey again, in whatever form it takes.

As mentioned, a book is in secret development. Shhhhh. That’s all you get to hear.

Radio Theater:

Next week, I will release the first installment of Books in Transit. On a weekly basis, I will host an mp3 of an adaptation of a novel from any number of popular book genres, in the form of a carfully directed and slickly produced radio play or audio book. We will explore your favorite genres - Sci-fi, Fantasy, Sci-fi, and Fantasy. Newt Jersey productions is currently in talks with Mike Hart (from Dragon House, among other projects,) to do all composing. Stay tooned.

Also, Octopus On, my free collection of short stories has been downloaded 27 times! That means that as many as four people have possibly read it! Thanks to all who have showered me with praise and candies. I' m sorry my stories have changed your life. No, it will never be the same.

If you still want to read the thing, it's festering here.

Last week I started interning at the NYC offices of Chorion, a UK based company that owns some amazing childrens literature properties. I'm working in the TV department, which produces and develops crazy popular shows here and in Europe. Among my favorite - Octonauts, an upcoming series based on the oh so cute and aquatic books by Meomi.

This means I will be in the city Monday through Thursday, in case you need somebody with skinny arms to reach into your garbage disposal. I trust you.

My new quest is to make these posts more frequent and digestable, along with my meals.

So for now, thanks for slogging through this one. You get a treat - a secret prize.

See that switch? Flip it. No, it's fine. Yes, that's my hand in the sink. Just flip it.

Ahhhhhh.

Thanks for being a friend.

Bryan

Octopus On - a free book

Hi y'alls.

So I have put a collection of prose writing and etc. together into one place and called it a book.

I've also called it Octopus On and you can download it for free here - OCTOPUS ON.

They range from a page to a bunch, and from hilarious to not so hilarious.

I've printed a few copies, but they are a pain in the sittin' muscle to make. If people end up liking it enough, maybe I will work with a print shop and get a few pressed.

Until then, if you want a physical copy, you can trade me for something special.

Bartering for a diy book - I feel like such a hippie.

A hippie with a book.

I hate hippies.

This is heading south fast, so just download the book and read it during the summer.

Read it in pieces, read it in pajamas.

Stay tuned - I'm in talks with someone awesome to do layout on the Newt Jersey book, and I have a few leads on some fantastically talented print gurus.

In the meantime, I'm moving home. To good old Browns Mills.

I'm cooking hot dogs every morning, and eggs every night.

You're invited.

Bryan

Baby Sloth

He spent the entire day looking at videos of baby sloths. Well, maybe not the entire day because there are only so many baby sloth videos on YouTube, and other websites that specialize in cute baby animal content. But it was at least three hours. By the end of the afternoon his back had a crook and his eyes were bleary and his hand felt like it was greasy from the plastic of the mouse for some reason.
He stretched, and opened the shades to let in the last bit of daylight. It was orange, and made him realize how dusty the room was. Little particles floated in the strips of light, and into his nose. He felt like sneezing but didn’t.
He felt like eating, but didn’t.
He felt like sleeping, but didn’t.
He felt like maybe throwing on a movie but his eyes hurt.
He felt like playing some music, but his hands felt greasy.
So he laid down on the floor and looked up. The ceiling fan spun consistently. He found that if he followed it with his eyes, in a quick tight circle, it seemed like it would spin slower. His eyes grew wide. His arms began to move slowly, to grope at the air between him and the fan. His feet came up off the carpet, as his legs kicked upward like he was riding a really rusty bike.
His rocked gently, back and forth on the carpet, and everything fell into place. He was a baby sloth, and everything in the world moving around him was not a baby sloth. His eyes bulged, and his limbs moved slowly through space.
His wife came home later that night. She sat on the couch, watching him. She wondered why he’s got everything figured out, and she still has no idea what to do with her life.
She watched the dust bits drift in the lap light, and cried into her jacket.

A Book, etc.

Hey everyfolk!

First I want to thank everybody who made Dragon House an enormous success. The audience especially - a guy can't ask for a cooler group of people to look uncomfortable in front of. Sadly, I didn't tape the show, but a video production might be in the works for the future. Until then, here's the script. Why would anyone want to read the script? I have no idea. But here it is anyway. This is the production draft, without all the song notes. Eventually I will get Mike Hart's amazing songs posted. If anyone has pictures of the performance, send them to me and I will post thems!

Secondly, for all those who participated in "Puppets for Poor Kids," I thought I would introduce you to the two puppets that I got to give away.

Meet Thornwald and Gulp. If this doesn't change a kids life then I don't know what will. Beatings maybe.

So, based on the response to a random facebook query, I have decided to produce a Newt Jersey book. It will be a well put together collection of comics and humorous essays and microfiction. After I reach thirty comics, I will stop drawing new comics to focus on creating content and figuring out the nitty gritty.

I really want to work with a print/bookmaker, so if any of you know someone in the VA who might be interested, give me a holler.

I am to presell and fund the book through kickstarter.com, so I hope to put together something that people actually want to own. Maybe the quality of the paper will make up for the poor quality of the drawings themselves. Stay posted for progress, and make sure to check out the last two comics before Newt Jersey goes on indefinite hiatus!

There's quite a bit brewing at the moment for the summer, so stay posted all you crazy individuals.

Oh man, and just let me plug Honey Maid Chocolate Grams. They are like regular gram crackers, but heavier and more substantial and with chocolate. Buy them and feel good about your life.

Oh man it's sunny today. I love it.

Go outside and do a funny dance!

Bryan

A Big Furry Thanks

I want to extend a stubby armed puppet hug to everybody who came out to "Puppets for Poor Kids" on Saturday. The response was overwhelming, and I am ecstatic to say that we raised

$13.28

which is phenomenal. It just about covers a really special puppet for a really special random kid. So if you came, feel good about yourself, because you just made a puppetless kids day, and gave him something to take to college with him when he grows up because he hasn't learned how to sleep without it.

I will post pictures of the puppet when I order it, which will be very soon.

Stay posted for info on my upcoming musical, "Dragon House," which will be going on Thursday, April 22, 8-9PM.

Puppets for Poor Kids

This Friday and Saturday is Culture Shock at SUNY Purchase. It's an awesome festival with bands and food and rides and everything a boy could want. Check out the set list, because it's definitely a list.

Sadly headliner Los Campasinos will not be able to play, due to the eruption of the volcano Eyjafjallajokull ruining British airspace. Eyjafjallajokull was totally my favorite Icelandic volcano, but not anymore.

So, drown your sorrows and springtime urges in philanthropy, and stop by "Puppets for Poor Kids", a fundraiser organized by Max Dashevsky and I. We will be by the WPSR second stage collecting money and small pocket sized things to go towards buying a puppet for a child in need. A child in need of a puppet.

Puppets provide companionship, are an amazing catalyst for imagination and creativity, and do wonders for a child's social skills. Studies show that kids who play with puppets have 130% more coolness.

So stop by - I will post the times as soon as they are announced, in the comments section of this post, and on my twitter. (which you can see there------->)

And remember, a hand without a puppet is really not a hand at all.

(ps. Chaz Monster is done! Expect it to be posted soon.)

April Fools, Puppets, etc.

April Fools.

Oh man, that's about ten days late.

Whoops.

For all the folks who downloaded The Night Owl Chirping, it was something of an April fools joke. So it's really not the best thing I've ever done. Only close to it. If you didn't download it, then heck - download it anyway. The more things you have on your hard drive, the larger it's soul is. Think about it.

So there's crazy lots of stuff going on. I'll try to untangle it -

I bought a little moose at a toystore in Plesantville, NY.

His name is little baby doo doo moose and he's a finger puppet. Expect to see him in something someday, like a play or Owl Soundboard album cover. Or just on my finger at three in the morning.

I also bought a balsa wood glider - its crazy to pay the cost of a burger for something and then not eat it because it's not a burger but instead play with it for hours and hours.

Part of me feels like our entertainment and a great deal of other things we experience (food) is over produced.

Another part of me loves that.

But really, all we need is a balsa wood plane and a moose.

Today, Luke Francy did all the shooting for a short film that I scripted.

It's called Chaz Monster, and was a project I developed for Matt Lents, a senior in the Acting Conservatory at Suny Purchase. Matt is a freaking amazing actor, and I'm so excited to have something on his demo reel.

It's something of a love story, that follows a guy who is attempting to put together a web blog with his puppet, and also convince a random girl to fall in love with him.

It's not autobiographical, I promise.

You can download the script here, if you fancy.

I will post the movie when it's finished, so you get your popcorn ready. Or just eat it now. I won't tell you not to eat the popcorn if you want it. But if you still have it when Chaz Monster comes out, then yeah. Get it ready.

Set the date - April 22 is the Dramatic Writing/Photography collaboration at Suny Purchase.

I will have directions etc as the date approaches, because you should be there.

It's the premier of Dragon House, a musical. Mike Hart, composer and renaissance man, has finished the tracks and I am in the process of writing lyrics at the moment.

The songs are beautiful. Amazing.

And get this: Mike is going to start rehearsing a live band.

I will get to sing with puppets for roughly twenty minutes while a live band accompanies me.

And people say the American Dream is dead.

Our dragon is on loan to Luke at the moment, as he is playing Chaz in Chaz Monster. He's a working dragon, thats for sure.

Also puppet related - Max Dashevsky, a fellow dramatic writer and funny guy at Purchase, and I will be doing a show on the WPSR second stage at Culture Shock. We cannot reveal exact details, but it will be a puppet show, rest assured.

Stay tuned for a time and location on that.

I need to blog more, and not just dump crap I'm doing on the reader. And by the reader I mean the search engine crawler that passes over my page every month or so, slowly creeping towards sentience.

Please, go out and buy a balsa wood plane. I don't know where. I don't think dollar stores sell them anymore.

Give one to someone you love, and that day will be the best day of their week. Unless of course they get two balsa wood planes the next day.

In that case, the person who gave them two is much cooler than you.

But don't worry.

There's always little baby doo doo moose.

And I've completely lost it.

Good night, space station.

Keep on makin' that gravity.

And protein paste.

Mmmmm protein paste.

Ps - If you listened to the Owl Soundboard, and would like another one made for you. For you specifically, then tell me so in comments.